Damn...

I have a friend “Laura” who is going through a difficult break up right now. Last night we were on the phone until after midnight. She was babbling and crying like a love sick teenager. I won’t get into the details of this or that. From what I can tell, the relationship is ending for good reasons. She believes being with him is not good for her. The problem now is that it still hurts. She is borderline pitiful. She keeps listening this one song that reminds her of him, over and over and over… “Who would have known, I’d find you...”

I’ve heard breaking up with someone is like a form of dying. You have to give yourself time to mourn the loss. So, I am trying to be patient with her. She was SO SURE he would be the one. This was it for her. She told me about the last time she held him in her arms, the first time they made love, their last kiss, their first date. She kept going over their last meeting, their last conversation. Everything he said. Everything she said. His reactions to what she said. How what he said made her feel. What she wished she had said…

She wanted to call him, again, last night. I had to yell at her at that point. Let it go, nut. Stop torturing yourself. She said it’s killing her because she still loves him. She wanted to hate him. She wanted to walk away feeling completely sure that he was a terrible person and she was 100% right and better off without him. The problem is, she’s not sure. She is sure she can’t figure out how to make it work, but there is still that hint of doubt that maybe she should have tried a little harder.

I think she made the right decision. There is always to be a measure of regret at the end of relationship. Especially if you really loved the person. Letting go is never easy. But it’s necessary to grow. At least she’s finding out now, before she invested 3 or 4 years of her life. They are not married, no children. They can make a clean break. They should both be able to bounce back relatively quickly. That’s how I see it.

As for Laura, I think she’s still somewhere crying her eyes out, listening to that damn song.

That is all.