Nothing Is Ever Simple...
So, my ex. He is determined to torture me for the rest of my life by being super nice to me while being completely oblivious to the fact that I am still hopelessly in love with him. Where is this coming from? I got my hair braided this weekend in South Philly and I was on foot because of the car situation. I called him ONLY because I know he knows how to navigate Septa very well and I was looking for the best way to get to South Street. Let me give you a little background...
I met him February of 2002 and it was literally love at first sight. We were a couple basically from that first moment. When were together it was heavenly. I had never been happier. He everything I wanted and needed in a partner and I was ready for forever with him. He has a son close in age to mine and they got along great, I loved his family he loved my family. For a year and a half it seemed we were perfect for each other. We discussed marriage after graduation, having at least one more child (a girl), where we might live. Here's the problem. He has the attention span of a ferret on speed. He was wonderfully motivated and enthusiastic about making something of himself. But he had this need to constantly be involved in several projects at once. He was attending college, participating in theater, working 2 parttime jobs and raising a son. Not to mention his father was constantly dragging him along on projects for this and that. Please don't misunderstand. Everything he was doing was good , but he was constantly breaking dates, showing up late or not showing up at all and not bothering to call. 2 weeks after his birthday I had enough of getting jerked around and gave him an ultimatum.
Either slow down and devote more time to our relationship or end it. And the rest is history. No angry blow up, no bitter words. I think it would be easier if he had given me a reason to hate him, but he was a sweetheart up to the end. He knew would never be happy if he gave up his projects and involvements, and he knew I wouldn't be happy unless he did. The breakup was very mature and rational. So, because there was no angry blow up or insults you can't take back, we maintained a casual friendship. We call each other on birthdays and holidays, or just to check in from time to time. It has been torture, but I felt it would be bitchy and immature not be be friendly. Damn that was long. Now that you're up to date I'll finish my story...
By the time my hair was done I'd missed the last train and it was snowing and freezing , so he offered to pick me up and take me home. I decline several times, but he insisted. (Why must he be so nice??!!) He's just so cute and so sweet and I just love him and WHY WHY WHY!!!??? This is why I believe he exists only to torture me. Most people tell me I should tell him how I feel and ask him to not call me anymore, but I did that! Twice, but every few months he pops up being all sweet and nice, to see how I am. What am I supposed to say? The truth is I want to talk to him. For a while I thought I had closed my heart on the issue, but the feelings won't go away. All I can figure is we are still meant for each other and if I just wait one day when he's finally ready to settle down... It's not like there's a crowd of guys beating each other up to get to me. I'm not saying that I'm putting myself on a shelf and waiting for this to happen, if I meet someone else I would pursue it. I just still think there could be a chance for us. Do I sound like an absolute loser? I do, don't I? Never mind, forget I brought it up.
posted by Gift From Virgo at 1:22 PM
1 Comments:
No hon, you do not sound like a loser. Sounds to me like you have very strong feelings for him and you know something, if he is still calling you and keeping in contact with you he may still have feelings for you too. Sometimes people feel as if they have so many things they want or have to do and so little time to do it in. Maybe your guy looks at it this way as well. It does sound as if he has too many pans in the fire but maybe it's how he was raised. To be busy all the time. Maybe his parents are the same way. Anyway, if you do still have strong feelings for him, why not just go ahead and tell him. I have found out that men do not like having someone give them ultimatums, so why not take what time he can give you now and be happy. His life will slow down and if he sees you are willing to stick through it with him I think he will realize what he truly has. Someone who cares and loves him enough to wait and be there. That's my 2 cents worth on it.
A little history from me to you hon. I met my husband online. He lived in California and I lived in Missouri. We were miles apart. He had his career and I had mine. He and I kept in contact daily via phone. We were constantly on the phone, even during the night. lol thank god for unlimited long distance calling plans. Anyway, I asked him to relocate to where I was. He tried to find work at the same company he works for now. They have branches in Kansas and Missouri. No go. Nothing for him at that time. So I waited and when my son was out of school for the year, we packed everything we had into my van and we moved to California. I had to give up my career and everything I knew to be with him. That's how much I love him. I miss my family and friends dearly but I love my husband and I want to be with him. The point is, sometimes things are worth waiting for. We started being serious about each other in early 2003, met for the first time in June 2003 and after that he went to see me 3 other times and I came to California to see him 2 times. We got married in June 2004. I waited over a year and it's the best thing I could have done. He was worth waiting for and worth leaving everything I know to be with. So hon the best thing for you to do is to look into your heart. You will see the truth there.
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