Choices

So, I have this friend, Anna who has a daughter by a man named Thomas who she is still very much in love with. They met in high school, and she got pregnant after only dating him for a few months. Although the relationship was very intense, they were both very immature and not at all ready for the responsibilities and consequences of love and sex. She did some terrible things to him (though she will never admit it) and he did some terrible things to her.

They broke up when their daughter, Susie, was about 2. He eventually married another woman, Ellen, and they had a son together. After 4 rocky years together Thomas filed for divorce. They are currently in the middle of a vicious legal battle over assets and custody of their daughter. Ellen his determined to make Thomas suffer and won't give or compromise on anything.

Anna never stopped loving Thomas and has wished over the years that she and Thomas had been able to make things work. She cried for a week when she he married Ellen. Over the years, no matter who she dated or how hard she tried to move on, Thomas has always been the man who could make her heart jump. Thomas recently confessed that he feels the same. He has told Anna that he finally realizes she is the woman he should have been with all along.

Here's the problem. During most of the years Anna and Thomas were apart he was a complete jerk to Anna and their daughter. Especially when he first married Ellen. It has only been over the last year or so that Thomas has begun acting like a decent human being.

The only reason Anna was able to get through those painful years was because of her family's support. When Thomas disappeared for weeks at a time, or didn't send support money for Susie, Anna's family picked up the slack. Anna's father has been Susie's father as well as her grandfather. She knows her family would not accept Thomas if she attempt to reunite with him, and she doesn't blame them for being mistrustful. Even when Anna and Thomas were together she only ever told them about the bad stuff Thomas did or when they were arguing.

Anna has come to me now for advice, as my friends tend to do. For now, she and Thomas share secret phone calls, and meet when no one knows. She says it's romantic at times, but hard to deal with. Ever since Thomas told her he was leaving Ellen, Anna has not been able to even consider being with another man. But she says she will not sleep with Thomas until the divorce is final and the two of them are officially back together.

On ther other hand, she feels she has been patient for so long. She doesn't know how much more she can take. She wants to know if she should trust Thomas again, or ignore the desperate beating of her heart and walk away? She says each beat of her heart says his name. She says she gets butterflies when she sees him. She feels dizzy when he holds her and treasures each moment, each kiss they steal.

What a DORK!!!

I told her to pull herself together and stop acting like a love sick teenager. Women can be pretty dumb sometimes. Thomas is a selfish jerk and she needs to move on with her life!!!

That is all.