My Testimony

The abstinence thing is hard, but every victory over my flesh makes me that much stronger.

I was abstinent for almost 3 years, from 2000 to 2003. Until I met the man I thought I was going to marry. He was everything I thought I wanted. He claimed he wanted to wait too. So I let my guard down. I let myself get into situations where I could be tempted. My pastor once said, "The very thing you compromise God to gain you will always lose." I found that to be true. I couldn't bare the thought of not having that man, so I compromised what I knew was right. I ignored the spirit inside me and decided to please my flesh. So of course, in the end I lost him.
I'm wiser now and I know why I am doing this. The Bible says we are to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto Him. This is our spiritual act of worship. We should not conform ourselves to the values of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Romans 12. I have to remind myself that my body is a temple for God.
Then I think of all the things He has done for me and all the things He has saved me from and I just want to do right. I remember that He loves me more than any man ever could. When men have lied and hurt me, God never did. When men cheated and turned their backs on me, God was always there, faithful and true. He listens to all of my prayers and rocks me in his arms at the moments I feel most lost. Since I've been walking with the Lord my I have felt a contentment I never knew existed. He is truly a wonderful God.
The key to any type of discipline is knowing WHY you're really doing it. It's a decision you have to make before you find yourself tempted. When I meet guys, I'm slow to become a couple. "Boyfriend" is a dangerous word. Once a "relationship" starts, sex is pretty much expected. I make sure who ever I meet up with truly shares my values, and wants to wait just like me.
****I learned the hard way not to try to date man who doesn't have a relationship with Jesus Christ. They don't understand my convictions and always try tempt and test me.
I don't listen to most R&B and hip hop that comes on anymore. I don't watch music videos. The themes are so full of lust and sex it's ridiculous. How can I expect to have heart for God if I fill my ears, eyes and brain with everything that goes against Him?
I am mindful that what I wear can communicate things to a man that I may not mean to say. The lust of the eyes is a dangerous thing. I don't have conversations where sex is the primary topic. I don't reminisce about sexual experiences, favorite positions, first times or any of that other talk that starts the imagination going. I know my boundaries. I am honest with myself. I don't wait until we're all hot and heavy. I decide in advance what what my comfort zone is. I know when I will start to lose control, so I don't let it get that far. God will always supply an out, he will give us strength not to sin, if we really want it. The problem is most people look for an excuse to fall.

Remember: Every action begins with a thought. Until you learn to control your mind, your body and emotions will rule you.

I know this seems like a lot and honestly it is. It's not easy. But I know in my heart it is right, and when I pray and speak to God I have peace because I know he is pleased with me and will bless me with true love when the time is right. And in the mean time I can guard my heart and know that I am not wasting that precious part of myself with someone who isn't worth it.

"This I say then, walk in the Spirit, and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other so that you cannot do the things that you want." Galatians 5:16-17

God Bless!