Writer's Block...

I hate typing on the laptop. The keys are all flat and my wrist feels weird.
I quit smoking 'round about a month ago and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I know I shouldn't smoke, and I hated the way it made me and my apartment smell. My mother and father were constantly guilt tripping me and even my son was starting to complain. So I quit, for like the 5th time. I quit for 3 years from 2000 to 2003. The other attempts were much shorter, anywhere from from 2 weeks to 3 months. I can't say right now whether I want a cigarette or not. The option is wandering around among my thoughts. I haven't had cravings bad enough to really tempt me. I did have one nicotine fit, it was intense, but it still wasn't enough to break me. What I experience is more a dull nagging from somewhere inside, constantly whispering to me. I ignore it, but I still hear it. I wonder will I eventually answer it, like I always have. I wonder if I will ever be completely free of it. I prayed for strength to overcome this addiction, because I know God doesn't want me to destroy my health. If I ask for him to help me resist temptations, I think he will hear me, it has worked so far. I think what eventually happens is I stop asking. Part of me feels like smoking is part of me, part of my identity. I do think it is dumb when people sue tobacco companies for their health problems. We all know the health risks when we take that first puff. But I do think it is immoral that they continue to profit from a product that is so addictive AND hazardous. Every smoker I know has tried to quit at least twice and always caved. People will stand outside in the freezing rain and snow to get a fix, women will smoke while pregnant, and when we try to quit we go through withdrawal symptoms like heroine addicts! If I had a time machine I would go back to the first 5 times I tried cigarettes (it took several attempts before the habit stuck) and smack the HELL out of myself. You know, hindsight and all that.