Interesting Developments...

Myrtle Beach was a great time. GREAT TIME. Hotel was right on the beach, my son was occupied with all his cousins in the pool most of the time, so I had a lot of me time, which was essential. I got to hang out with my big sis' who is an awesome person, and a lot of fun. My whole family is actually pretty cool and we made a lot of memories that I will cherish for years to come.
I wish I could figure out how to freaking post pictures to this stupid sight!!! We took SOO many pictures. My sister and I are both tired of people taking crap "candid" pictures of us, so before we left we made a vow to take lots of really great pictures of each other. I could go on for a while talking about my vacation, but more interesting is what -or who- was waiting anxiously when I got home.
My son's father. Wow.
I don't want to say much. He is an open wound on my heart that just won't heal. Every time I think I'm over him he does something wholly unexpected and I find myself back in floating to that place. That place where he and I are in love, treating each other with respect and tenderness, raising a family.
Why won't it go away? I have been praying about this for 8 stupid long years. In some prayers I ask God to change his heart so he will be the father and man my son and I need. I have prayed just for his happiness, that he would find his way. Sometimes I ask God to make my feelings for him go away forever. Sometimes, in my dark moments, I ask God to drop something heavy on his head. But I guess the point is that for 8 years he has been in my thoughts in prayers. For better or worse I have a great passion for him, and a great affection.
So I come home and there he is.
Happy to see me, longing for my company.
He shared with me that one thing I have been craving for so long.
The one addiction I may never lose a taste for.
His heart.