Most every guy thinks he's a
nice guy, just like every person thinks they're a
good person no matter how much of a self absorbed jerk they are.
Just because you keep a job, don't lie, cheat or smack your bitch
down doesn't qualify you as a nice guy; it merely means you are an
average decent human being. Stop looking for gold stars and applause for
doing that which is most basic and should be inherent to all civilized
members of your gender.
Guys who like to label themselves "nice" are constantly whining and
complaining about how "nice" they are and how no one appreciates them.
SHUT UP! The reason your ex broke up with you isn't because you were too
nice to her, it was because you were a boring wuss. She didn’t really
mind you being nice to her, the reason she sent you walking is that
you’re a dork, but because you were so nice she felt the need to spare
your feelings, and “you’re too nice” sounds a lot better than “you’re
boring me to tears.”
Think you're a nice guy, really? Let's explore that further, shall
we? Are you volunteering at a local homeless shelter? Reading to the
blind? Visiting the elderly or terminally ill? Cleaning up inner city
parks or mentoring kids? Nope. You’re probably not doing much of
anything for anyone but yourself.
Using that “I’m a nice guy” line tends to be a back door creep in
because he’s too insecure to knock on the front door like a man. He’ll
start out as a listening ear, an understanding shoulder. He appears
really tall standing on the shoulders of the man who just broke her
heart. He loves to be the rebound, yet wonders why he always gets tossed
aside once he’s helped her heal.
*Not all good girls like bad boys.* What we like is a man
with a spine, who knows how to play his role and be the man. Not just a
girlfriend with a penis. Why do you think you always end up in the
friend zone? Let me say for the record, the good girls who do like "bad
boys" in the traditional sense (abusive, unemployed, unfaithful,
criminals) are immature and foolish and do not represent real women.
It’s important to be kind and considerate to the lady in your life.
You should treat her in a manner that lets her know she is special to
you, but that doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. It's like you are
so busy trying to please everybody that you don't really please anybody.
The guy who hides behind this title seems to have some deep root of
insecurity, so he is always trying to pacify and satiate. He lacks the
balance to see that he does't have to be tyrant OR a wuss. Balance.
Just because you pay for dinner a couples times or bring flowers
doesn't mean you are somehow exceptional. Again, stop waiting for
applause. Personally, I don't even like flowers and I prefer to go Dutch
at the beginning of a relationship.
90% of the guys I’ve met who label themselves "nice guys" are
absolute dorks with no sense of personal style and no idea how to talk
to women. He hides behind the guise of being "nice" as protection from
the truth that he has no other choice but to be nice. I'd be willing to
bet that if that same "nice" guy was to wake up tomorrow with six pack
abs, six figures in the bank and the face of an angel he'd turn into a
dog before the toaster popped.
Final thought: I have never dated a man who hit me or cursed at me. I
would not tolerate a man who was unfaithful or untrustworthy. I don't
date drug dealers, drug users or any otherwise shady types. The men I
date are not "nice guys" nor are they "bad boys." I date men who know
how to handle me, and how to handle their business. Men who have
compassion, integrity and a sense of personal responsibility. Now,
that's nice.
