Tony & Tamika

And then there is Tony and Tamika. Another example of why relationships are stupid and why men and women should stop wasting so much energy trying to be attached to one another.

Tony is my friend. A good guy by most accounts. He's been in a relationship with this chick for something like 6 years or so. Tamika. She seems like a cool girl, she's definitely a hottie, smart, classy, not a ghetto chick or a hood rat -she's going places.

They're both in college, but they come from 2 very different worlds. He's from the lower side of town, single parent home, no frills, you know the drill. She is upper crust, priviledged and all that.

After carrying on for the last 6 years, her parents still don't know how serious she is with him. They made it clear early on that they don't approve of him and they don't want her to be with him. I believe threats to disown her have been thrown around. When she goes home on holidays or extended visits, he can't call the house. If her parents come to visit, he has to get out of sight until they leave.

Recently Tony started getting aggressive, talking about moving in together or getting married or something, because all this out on a limb stuff is killing him. So here comes Tamika with the love declarations and all that rah rah, but what Tony needs is for her to stop avoiding the issue and be a woman. Stop filling his ears with pillow talk and make a move.

Then again, being the good man that he is, Tony doesn't want to be the cause of Tamika losing her family. He doesn't want to force her to chose him over them just to have her end up resenting him 2 years down the line. He's a smart guy. He knows marriage isn't a good idea, he know they're not ready right now, but six years is a long time to hide in someone's closet. Does she love him? Yes. Is her handling of the situation God awful? YES!

Now I live 3 hours from the epicenter of this particular shit storm, so I can only be so helpful, yet for some reason they have both come to me for advice -advice I know neither of them will actually listen to because they are dumb.

As far as I'm concerned, the real villians in the scenario are Miss Tamika's closed minded people, but unfortunately they were not available for comment. Tamika is pissing me off because this is the kind of situation that turns potentially great man into a bitter with commitment issued. So after she's finished doing a number on his heart he will be useless to any other woman. Stupid Tamika. Stupid Tamika's parents.

It is my hypothesis that men don't necessarily start out as dogs. Somewhere along the way, they get dogged.

That is all.

Sad Today

Ah, me. I am sad today. I am sad because I don't know what I want. That's a very frustrating position to find yourself in.
Actually, I know what I want, but what I want isn't what I want, you know?
Yes, it's about men, but then it's about me. It's about 1 man, it's about all men. Why do people have to want companionship? Why do I have to want to be in a relationship? Why do I care if some dumb man thinks I'm pretty? Or calls me? Or comes over? What's the big damn deal?

Why is it I still get all giggling and tingly all over? Why!!?? Arrgghh!! When I am going to stop?

Why the f--- can't I get over him? Somebody, please slap me. Kick me, stab me, ANYTHING! Whatever it takes to jerk my stupid heart into reality and accept the truth.

Foolish Heart. Damn my foolish heart. I guess I'll get what I deserve.

People...

People are dumb.
If you go back through my archives, circa May 2005, you will find my editortial on the stupidy of men, or boys in that case. I am revising and adding to that hypothesis. People in general, men and women alike are stupid. Black, White, Hispanic, American, European, Asian, whatever your persuasion, age, economic status or political affiliations. People are really freaking stupid.
You have been warned, so watch your back.

That is all.

SMS.AC

I have met some interesting people through this website. Just like anything else, you get out of it what you put into it. If you are at all into the on-line community I recommend getting an account. You need a cell phone and an e-mail address -and who doesn't have both of those in 2005?


This is the link for my profile...
http://sms.ac/profile/customprofile.aspx?u=giftfromvirgo

Good Intentions

This was sent to me by a coworker and I had to share...

An elementary school class started a class project to make planters
to take home to their parents. They wanted to have a plant in it that
was easy to take care of, so they decided to use cactus plants. The
students were given greenware pottery planters in the shape of a
clown which they painted with glaze. The clown planters were
professionally fired at a class outing so they could see the process.
It was great fun.

They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew
nicely but unfortunately the children were not allowed to take them
home...the cactus plants were removed and small ivy replaced in them and the children were then allowed to take them home instead.


The teacher said cactus seemed like a good idea at the time!

Getting Older

There comes point when you realize it's time to grow up and let go of things that don't fit anymore. In the case of our comic strip, it was a nickname. For me it is people. It's hard to accept that some people are just not meant to be part of your life forever. I have friends who remind me of times that I am not ready to let go of, my youth, the last days of my childhood. As long as I keep associating with them, I will never need to grow up all the way. But staying stuck in the past -either by my own actions or by association- will only keep me from all the wonderful things waiting for me.

Just some thoughts. I'm getting old. Get Fuzzy.

Caribbean Hotel

This is the hotel we stayed at in Myrtle Beach. It was actually a nice place, except it was open air, so there was no air conditioning in the elevators or hallways. Besides that we were all pleased with the accommodations. I can say for sure I would stay there again. We had a full kitchen, so we didn't have to waste money eating out 3 times a day. It was definitely the best hotel on the strip where we were. I can't take credit for this picture, it's from the online brochure. I have not gotten the pictures we took onto a disk yet. I'm working on it.

Looking at the picture is giving me nice flashbacks. It really was an awesome vacation.

My Beautiful Sister...

Militant Female Ranting...

I make it too easy, I make it too convenient. In my past, I didn't just meet a man half way, I drove all the way to his house, cooked him dinner, gave him some good loving, then drove myself home at 3am! That's too far. Too far. I don't need to be spoiled, and I'm not looking to take advantage of a good man, I just want to be treated well. I want someone who will sacrifice his time, money and energy to make me happy, the same way I do for him. Show me I'm a priority, not an afterthought!!!
A man should be able to support himself. I have no interest in any man who cannot stand on his own two feet. How can I trust him to be the head of our household if he couldn't manage his own single life with much success? I will work; I understand I am called to be a helpmate, but I have no interest in being with a man who needs to be lead by the hand. I have no intention of ever being with a man who needs me to tell him how to handle his business. There are just certain things a man should know by the time he reaches 27-28. You should have some clue what you want to accomplish, some sense of direction. And if it's not too much, can you read? Not comic books and magazine with pictures, but actual literature.
He should understand the principle of delayed gratification. Understand the difference between intimacy, romance and sex. They are 3 distinctly different levels of connection, each essential (in varying degrees depending on the couple) to maintain a strong bond.
Finally, but most important, he needs to understand the difference between "I believe there is a God", "I believe in God" and "I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ" I have no interest in being with a fence riding, agnostic who can't decide what he believes. Calling yourself "spiritual" doesn't mean anything. Witchcraft is spiritual. You need to know what you believe. If you claim to be a Christian, and say you are saved but chose not to go to church, or study the Bible you are outside the will of God. The Bible is very explicit when it comes to these matters. How can you call yourself a student of any discipline if you don't study and fellowhip with others who share your beliefs? You can't study karate if you never take lessons or spar with other students. You can't call yourself a medical student just because it sounds nice but never go to med school. You are lying to yourself. If you claim to believe the Bible but willingly ignore it's teaching you are being disobedient to your faith. That's just truth. The great thing about truth is you don't have to like it. You don't even have to agree with it. It just is.

I have a feeling I'm going to be single for a while.

Another Year...

So, I turned 27 on Sunday. It's funny, I don't feel like I am any closer to understanding me, or this life. But, unlike when I was 17, I don't feel like I need to. I have good friends, a loving family, a great little boy. I am good. I am learning to appreciate each day God gives me and be thankful for it, whatever it may bring. I don't need to maintain a false sense of control because I know God is in control. I don't need to worry about the future, because I walk with the Lord, who knows what is ahead. There is such peace in letting go. All I have to do is keep pushing everyday to be a little better than the day before. Push myself a little harder, be a little more loving, a little more patient, a little more giving, a little more kind. God Bless!

Yesterday is gone,
Tomorrow is not promised,
Today is a gift, that's why it's called "The Present"

27 and counting...

Just Me.

Tiny